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My Daily Journal

                                                                              

“I daydreamed of tomorrows relentlessly,

Believing of what it may brings.

But I saw in my vision the misery,

The struggle that I must take,

Of realizing such meek and honest end.

My heart starts to doubt,

As I see visions from visions.

Indeed t’was an immense suffering!

I hear my very own voice weeping for pain

Sensing every ripping on every part of my flesh.

I forced my self not to believe

But the visions are too vivid for me to ignore.

Oh Lord! Mighty as you are, save me from this!

Tears soaked every inch of my clothes as I stumbled

Dreadfully lying on the earth but keeping my faith.

Then I heard a whisper of the sweetest melody,

Of words I won’t ever tell for it speaks of my future.

Instructing me to hold on to it and to whatever my heart desires.

Suddenly, a light breeze touched my face

Giving me a sense of relief and keeping me from distress.

I heard of my self…

Pushing me to stand and take heed of everything

“I must learn the art of living for me to succeed

For in this world full of uncertainties,

Faith clings to hope.”

In great attempts it is glorious even to fail….

        Even though I attended several examinations I still find myself uptight – that is a fact of life. Probably because it was a new field to which I am not well versed. As a Biologist, I find the lectures very different but of great interest. Every detail was a revelation. But the great irony of it, I found passion on it.

        The last Sunday of March was a day reserved for recapping, internalizing, and comprehending whatever we had learned from the two weeks intense academic training at MSU. It was tough but it wasn’t hard. The good thing about it is that we need not to memorize. Comprehension is the key. And once you understood the logic of it there you go. That was the bragging part of it. But in the actual examination, it wasn’t like that. A lot of factors make one question very strenuous and difficult to answer.

        The interns went to each of their most convenient and conducive place to study. I went to the golf course alone but later joined by some of them. The place is magnificent with all of its panoramic view and tranquil ambiance. It seems like mother nature knew my purpose and gave me the feeling of belongingness. I read the module by heart but I was interrupted by every question that popped in every time I came across with a new concept. I shrugged it off though to continue with my reading. Every detail was inviting and enticing urging me to learn more. Occasionally I stopped reading to reflect and get myself involved. I was in a deep contemplation when suddenly the rain poured in. It was quite annoying but it made me to think of the real world. Reading the module alone will not help me instead I have to recall every lecture that had been delivered. Learning cannot be achieved through reading alone but also by involving yourself and listening to every detail that has been said. I decided to go back at the Hostel to do my plan.

        I came at the hostel with my body soaked with the rain and thankful that I’d brought a plastic to cover my module protecting it from getting wet. I changed my clothes and dried myself. After which, I decided to take a nap to revitalize my thinking and my body. It was supposedly a short nap but stress and perhaps the coldness of the weather put me to a long slumber oblivious of the time. I woke up in the morning with my head bobbing from a slight pain and numbness. It was Monday then. Ouch! I missed the time.

“The people who get on in this world

are the people who get up

and look for the circumstances they want,

and if they can’t find them, make them.”

       

        It was

05:00 am

on Monday. I got agitated for it was the day of our examination. I got up and stretched myself to allow better circulation of my blood throughout my veins and hoping that my senses would function immediately. You know sometimes our lazy endorphins are lazy enough that a person must wait for the proper time before it could function very effectively. But I need not to wait for time is running very quickly – I always have that feeling every time an examination is approaching.

        After which, I opened my notes and my module and was engrossed immediately in reading. I remember some of the lines that our lecturers made and that was very helpful. Anyway, it was time to go. After doing the daily rituals at the Hostel we all went to the venue for examination.

        Minutes had passed. Ma’am Sor was still nowhere. Then an hour passed. Kuya Adom and I decided to take our brunch instead so we went to the nearby canteen. Roughly around 15 minutes I saw Ma’am Sor. We rushed to the examination room and find for my place.

        A few reminders were given before the exam started. Then we proceed in answering the questions. The exam was divided into two sets. Set A was given in the morning and consist of questions from the 1^st week of our lectures. Set B was given in the afternoon and composed mainly of lectures on the 2^nd week. Honestly, the questions seemed to be easy and expected. But it always depends upon the way our answers were written. Whether I had effectively conveyed my ideas was the hardest question I faced. I prayed prior to answering and promised to HIM that I will exert my very best and ask HIS guidance. I finished the exam and I don’t feel very comfortable with my answer but I feel relieved.

        So that was it! I just finished with the examination. Oops…I forgot we still have to prepare for our presentation on the following day. I thought anyway of having a nap first.

“You can either take action,

or you can hang back

and hope for a miracle.

Miracles are great,

but they are

so unpredictable.”

        In

Japan

, most of the companies there asked their employees to take a nap after lunch time. It was been widely practiced after a research was made comparing the performances of people who take a short nap after lunch and those who don’t and continually do their functions. The study revealed that a great increase on the creativity and performances of those who took a short nap after lunch was observed as compared to a slowing down of performances of those who don’t. It has been termed then as a power nap to refer to a very beneficial form of relaxation as it revitalizes and rejuvenates the body and the mind of the person.

        Anyway, I did that but again I failed waking up my self on the proper time. My biological clock was working piously and so I can’t just go against with it. I wasn’t even able to attend our group meeting – the Group 3. I woke up again the next day and got startled with the idea of not doing our presentation. I asked Kuya Adom to asked Ma’am Sor to move the presentation in the afternoon giving the most valid reason of power interruption even though it didn’t happen last night. So I took the chance and went to the Internet café. The timing was just quite right. No power interruption at all. I wondered.

        I had my previous research so it was easier for me only that I need some pictures for the presentation. I was quite aware of the other groups’ presentations. They made a movie maker. And so I decided to take a different path. I informed my group mates that I’ll be modifying some of our original plan. After they agreed I continued my work. I was at the café for four hours straight. I didn’t even felt the pang of hungriness for I was entirely absorbed in contemplation. At last I finished our presentation. I hurried back to the Hostel and beautified myself. Damn I looked very haggard. But anyway attitude can change it. I have to think that I’m extremely handsome and whalla…did I made mention of my look (hehehe).

        At

02:00 pm

, we started the presentation. Our group – the famous BLAAG: Task Force of Peace and Development – was placed as the last group to present. Dr. Ati was there together with Ma’am Sor and Sir Salipada. I cannot hide my feelings a well as with the guests. I was overwhelmed by the presentations of the other four groups. Each of them leaved an impression and a touching depiction of their topics. Of course we all have same theme and that is how to resolve

Mindanao

conflict and how to develop it.

        When our group was asked to present, I was so timid in the fear that they might not like what we did. However, all of our anxiousness was dumped as we get very positive reaction from all of them. I felt relieved.

        After the presentations, our beloved Dr. Ati and Ma’am Sor did their speeches. It was very emotional. I wasn’t aware that my tears fell down on my cheeks. The emotion was so heavy. It was a mixture of everything. We had a great time during our academic training and our coordinator was greatly supporting us ever since.  It was hard to bid goodbye. But we have a mission. This is my choice. I have to stay firm and go on with my plans. We will be trained as leaders and we have to learn how to pacify our hearts. Sacrifice our emotions and instead save it for the love of the people we will be serving in the near future. Inshaallah!

        Many thanks to our dear coordinator, Prof. Sorhaila Latip for everything she did to all of us. I am very indebted. I need not to write it here every detail for she knows all of it. In behalf of the group, our deepest and sincere appreciation. God bless and take good care always.

       

                                                                        

This entry was posted on Monday, May 29th, 2006 at 8:58 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.